Instead, I'm going to share with you something I wish I could have shared with you in October and should have shared with you in December. My mom has breast cancer.
My mom is amazing. She's always been healthy - in fact she never even felt this lump. Why you ask? Because it's right along her chest wall. I credit my mom's diligence in annual mammograms for finding this problem so quickly. In a way - she's really lucky. The breast cancer is between Stage I and Stage II. Totally treatable. However, it's Grade III - the cells are irregular and grow quicker.
My lovely, fabulous, upbeat mom has been through a lumpectomy and three margin revisions now. In the process has also had a port put in, had a punctured lung and aspirated bile on the surgical table. Through it all, she has managed to smile. Last Thursday was the lastest in margin revisions, and we now have news that the margins still aren't clean.
Realistically, I know she's going to be fine. It means either another margin revision or (likely) a mastectomy. I'm joking with her that she gets a free boob job if she opts for the mastectomy. But every now and then - I have "holy crap" moments.
What would I ever do without her? How can I best support her through another surgery, chemo, radiation and HER2 treatments? Why won't these cells just STOP growing?!?!
Thank you all for letting me get this off my chest (I know... NOT funny). I'm totally ok is you don't comment, want to comment but don't know what to say, etc. I'm stressed. I'm optomistic. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little scared.
I just appreciate you letting me share. And a big thank you to Kirstren, Jane and Tiney. They did know and have been awesome support as I support my mom.
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Wow, I can't believe you've been going through all this while NOT mentioning it on here. That's a big burden to carry, even if she is your mom and of course you don't mind helping. If that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteLots of hugs and love and prayers going your way. I know how scary all of the medical stuff and medical jargon can be... and unfortunately I don't have any answers for you.
But as long as you try and help keep her spirits high... she's totally gonna kick cancer's butt.
I'll be sending kind thoughts and positive energy to both you and your mom. I know she'll come through this just fine, and yes, maybe get a free boob job! She's lucky to have a daughter like you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this! Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts coming your way!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for your mom. I hope you feel better since you have shared this with us. Not only can you express your love and amazement for your mother, but your own fears.
ReplyDeletePlease keep us posted.
Hugs,
Karen
Ladybug Creek
Praying for you and your mom!
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeletePraying. I started reading your blog because of the cute weenie dogs, and keep coming back because it's always a surprise. I've got some issues that I just can't blog about right now, too. I understand that feeling. I'm sure you are helping your mom in ways you can't even imagine! Prayers headed your way!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your mother. You are a wonderful inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for both of you. I totally understand the "holy crap" moments and it is a bit scary. Thanks for sharing and for being such a great inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteWe are keeping you and your Mom in our prayers Cole.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine my life without my mom either. She is my best friend. Praying for you and your mom. You don't always have to be 'happy' here on your blog. There are lots of us virtual friends who would love to support you, especially on the days that are not so happy.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that. Breast cancer has affected just about every woman in my family. It is a scary time, but luckily for us, today it's a very curable disease. Don't apologize for not being upbeat, it's okay to have a bad day, especially with things like this!
ReplyDeleteShe's so positive about EVERYTHING! She will get through this!
ReplyDeleteI love her spirit. She will get through this because she has you right by her side. There will be moments where you will cry together but there will be moments where you will laugh.
ReplyDeleteAs you support your mom with your love, also take time for you to regroup. It can be exhausting!!
Thinking of the both of you!
Oh, sugar, I am sorry to learn of this ... PRAYERS lifting for you all as I write. Enjoy sharing your moments together, whether they be joy, laughter, tears or fears ... it is absolutely ok. Love her, as she loves you, you both are going to need one another. Love to all ~ Marydon
ReplyDeletePS
Please make sure you have reset your following me to our new blog ~
blushingrosetoo.blogspot.com
My thought go out to you and your family.. I am here if you need anything..
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing this with this and trusting this information with all of your bloggy friends. We are here to listen and help in any way that we can! my thoughts are with you!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so, so sorry to hear this. You and especially your mother will be in my prayers!!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the best thoughts possible for both of you. And I wanted to let you know - I'm in the Army of Women - it's a research group of women to help find a cure for breast cancer. If you aren't a member, please consider joining and spreading the word.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for you both.
So sorry to hear about your mom, she will be fine! You both will be in my thoughts and prayers. :)
ReplyDeletePaws crossed for your Mom!
ReplyDeleteI hope everything goes well!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza
Cole, in this situation, there is no SHOULD HAVE posted about it, at all. This is something so private, so intense, that writing about it publicly had to come when you were completely ready to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is so very lucky to have you in her corner. I pray that the doctors can get the hell rid of those nasty cells and bring your mom back to her robust health. And you know I'll be here if you ever need to talk about anything! You don't always have to be strong ya know.
Justine :o )
I can see how this would rock your world to the core. It's so hard to see the one person who we need the most be vulnerable. Very glad they found this early and it's treatable. I can't tell you what she needs, but I have a feeling just having you near will life her spirits.
ReplyDeleteHey girl. I have been following your blog for a while now but just not commenting. I felt the need to comment on this one. I think it is great that you are using this as an outlet--keep typing.
ReplyDeleteMy mom, like you mom, is a breast cancer survivor. Your mom will get through this, you will get through this--looking back, my Mom's cancer was literally just a blip on the time line. Please let me know if you need anything or have any questions or just need some support.
:) Meg
I saw a sign today which read, "At the end of your rope?" I immediately thought, it's ok, let go, God had you all the time. I am a christian, I work for a church and I see miracles happen daily. Pray, pray daily, GOd hears you, and it' ok to give him heck. He knows.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I placed on my Facebook Status:
Stop tellin God how big your storm is, Tell your storm how big your God is!!!
and my last advise to you, is my sign off,
Remember to BREATHE between the blank spaces of life~
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI just stopped by from Casey's blog. I will be praying for your mom. She sounds like a fighter and will beat it!!!
ReplyDeleteAw crap. I am so sorry! I am sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts. I have my fingers crossed for your mum - I hope she will be just fine. It's amazing how much of a child you feel when you find out something like this. When my mum told my brother and I she has breast cancer, my dad was already dying of bowel cancer. Talk about a double whammy. Thank god she was fine - but sometimes I still get those holy crap moments.
ReplyDeleteYou and your mum will lean on each other for support, and you'll have all your friends lifting you up, too. Everything will be ok - even though there will be times that you won't quite believe it.
Hi Cole! Mom and I are very sorry to hear about this. As you know, we are going through something very similar. My mom is very close to her mom and she has had several of those holy dog doo doo moments! She has even shed a few tears on me ;o) I don't mind and I'm sure your pups won't mind either. You have our email address from Christmas time so if you need or want to talk to my mom feel free. I have to say that chemo hasn't been nearly as hard as we imagined it would be on her. Moms are amazing creatures that God chooses specifically for us. I am so glad you are there to support yours.
ReplyDeleteSnuggles,
Twix and her mom
I'm so sorry to hear your news! I'm so glad they got it early and I will definitely send prayers for her.
ReplyDeleteHey - I'm just now catching up on my blog reading. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. That's such a struggle for you and your family. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you!
ReplyDeleteCole, I am so sorry I didn't see this sooner. I am incredibly behind on blog posts right now. That is wonderful that your Mom is keeping an upbeat attitude about it all. I can only imagine how I would feel it this happened to my Mom. My mom has had a few lump scares that turned out to be nothing more than cysts, and a dear friend just had a lump scare. It turned out to be benign tumor. I was terrified for them both so in a small way I can relate (at least somewhat). I'm not very good at communicating what I want to say in instances like this, so I'm just going to say please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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